
WestEnder
June 25, 2009
If you’re concerned about the degree to which you’ve been Twittering away your days, Hal Niedzviecki’s latest book might just pull you away from your iPhone long enough to reconsider the ghosts in the machines with which so many of us spend the bulk of our time. The bevy of online social-networking tools we use to cultivate relationships, the author says, has the effect of producing a surplus of what he calls “friends without benefits” — a convenient but unfulfilling substitute for the real intimacy, attention, and interaction we crave in our lives.
Such is the stuff of “peep culture,” the matrix of surveillance, voyeurism, and exhibitionism Niedzviecki explores in his non-fiction book, The Peep Diaries: How We’re Learning to Love Watching Ourselves and Our Neighbours (City Lights Books). The 38-year-old Toronto writer has been exploring the social implications of a consumerist society, pop culture, and celebrity worship for years, and The Peep Diaries’ incisive look at the evolution of online socialization has most certainly touched a nerve: Among other critical accolades, the book recently received the golden nod from Oprah, landing the number-12 spot on her Summer 2009 list of 25 Books You Can’t Put Down.
“I’m finding that people feel almost relieved that someone is actually talking about this stuff, instead of just accepting it and going, ‘We all have to be on Facebook now, we all have to Twitter, we all have to blog, we all have to YouTube,’” says Niedzviecki about the public response to his book. WE reached him at his Toronto home last week. “Generally, we have a lack of discussion about everything in our society. But particularly, we don’t seem to be very good at discussing mass media and pop-culture phenomena. Very rarely do we talk about the social consequences of it, which is ironic because, of course, the social consequences are huge.”
But the social consequences that Niedzviecki talks about in his book aren’t, in the tradition of more conservative culture pundits, meant to sound an alarm on the ills of the internet and related technologies. “It’s certainly not that we shouldn’t be doing this, [it’s not that] we need to turn the clock back,” he says. But expanding public conversation about the social — and often anti-social —impact of what is known as social media will help raise critical awareness about technologies that are, in many cases, still in their infancy.
“When I went and talked to the founders of Twitter, they said to me that it’s going to enhance our friendships; you’ll send a few quick Twitters when you’re on the run to go out and meet your awesome friends. Unfortunately, I’m not seeing that,” he says.
What’s happening instead? Niedzviecki says people are finding themselves more and more alone, and yet only able to connect with like-minded others through mediated experiences online, as is the case with Padme, a real-life Fraser Valley housewife he writes about in his book. Padme is the primary caregiver for her children, and is in a “total power-exchange” relationship with her husband, whom she refers to as the Master in her blog, which attracts 4,000 daily readers from around the world. “She’s the kind of woman who, in the same paragraph, can complain about her son’s birthday party being abruptly cancelled and note that it ‘Doesn’t look like I’m going to be getting my spanking [from my husband] today with dealing with all this birthday stuff,’” Niedzviecki writes in his book.
And yet, even with a devoted following of supportive readers, the author notes, balancing the competing needs of real life and online life has been getting harder with each new reader the blog attracts. “The more successful the blog is, the more difficult it is to maintain proper balance, online and off. Some think she’s over-stepping by mixing the kinky with real life,” Niedzviecki writes.
Despite the bold matter-of-factualness with which Padme will simultaneously describe everyday errands with her kids and the kinkier details of her sex life, one resonant chord that continues to surface — and perhaps draws readers back to her blog — is that she’s lonely, just like them. But for Padme, self-expression through semi-exhibitionism is the best way to fight it, actions that occupy the heart of Niedzviecki’s peep culture. “There’s no question that there’s a profound loneliness in our society, and anyone who doesn’t see that is really an amazing optimist,” he says. “It’s something that we are really struggling with: What are the effects of this? Once you dismantle organic, meaningful, interdependent communities, what happens next?”








